More Words of Wisdom from Shane’s Facebook

I got so ticked off today, I ripped my clothes off and threw them on the floor. That oughta show’em I mean business and teach them a thing or two about my superpowers, too.shane spidey

Went shopping for new shoes today. I asked the salesman if he had Skechers with a sparkly “S” for Shane on them. They did! Whooooo!

Had outpatient dental surgery done today. Mommy made promises to buy a toy for me when she thought I was too out of it to remember. Guess what? I wasn’t. Hello, Pop! the Pig. 😀

Every house needs a rooster that crows, runs, bangs on doors and jumps on beds first thing in the morning. It’s an honor to be the self-appointed cock of the walk in our house.shane crow

“I wanna go to You Nark for Christmas to see all the skyscrapers. But we have to stay a long time cuz it takes two days in the elevator to get to the tippy-top.”

“Even my invisible friends won’t listen to me. I told Smiley to stop snoring and he’s still doing it. I cannot sleep under these circumstances.”

Made a wish on a twinkling star tonight…I wish I had a pajama hat like Santa Claus has.shane elf

“If they make me ride rollercoasters, I’m gonna say bad words…GUTS! SHUT-UP! STUPID ASS!”

I enjoy acting like an out of control baboon in a restaurant; b) dropping my pants on the floor in the public bathroom and sing “pants on the ground”; c) running around the house in my underwear with company present (the little girl really liked that part); running around screaming outside in my underwear while watching the fireworks. Who needs a movie for entertainment? MY MOMMY NEEDS A DRINK!

“I’m half boy, half cow and half butthead.”

“I’m a butt planter. That’s someone who plants butts for tea parties.” *WTH*

“I cannot find 26 on this calendar. I CANNOT WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS!”

shane paper

Believe it or not, there’s still more to come…

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