Beautiful Boy

There are many days when my heart breaks because I feel like I can’t protect Shane from a life of frustration and being placed in difficult situations that he’ll have to learn to navigate himself. It’s out of my hands. That’s a big admission for a self-confessed control freak. I’m doing all I can which is to stand by his side and get all of the professional help that’s available to us. I don’t want him to be ostracized because he hasn’t learned how to always use kind words, share, take turns, actually “play” and talk with a friend instead of just being in their presence. His new teacher says that because he’s so loud and never stops moving, the other kids at school are a little leery and generally steer clear of him. So even kids “like him” aren’t sure how to include him. I don’t want him to see the weird looks we get from adults who are perfect and have perfect kids (according to them, anyway). The world is cruel. It’s their loss, not his. He’s an awesome kid. He doesn’t seem to notice the looks. Guess that’s my hang-up, not his.

At the playground yesterday, he stayed away from any play area with kids. He found a row of swings empty except for one baby. He hopped up on one. I was there to push him, but there was an elderly lady standing there pushing her granddaughter. I asked if he wanted a push. He said no and turned to the lady. He said, “My name is Shane. I’m 6. Do you want to be my friend? Who are you? Linda? Okay, Linda. Now I’m your friend. Can you push me?” She spent the next 15 minutes swinging him. I stood back and watched. Thank you, kind stranger. On the way back to the car, I tried to hold back my tears but couldn’t. Shane saw me and said, “Mommy, I just made a new friend! She liked me! Are you crying happy tears because I made a new friend, Mommy?” We got into the car, he hugged me and climbed into the back. Be still my beating broken heart. Thank you for being kind to my beautiful boy, Linda…my beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.Red heart

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Beautiful Boy
by John Lennon

Have no fear,
The monsters gone,
He’s on the run and your daddy’s here.

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful boy,

Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer,
Every day in every way,
It’s getting better and better,

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful boy.

Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait,
To see you to come of age,
But I guess we’ll both,
Just have to be patient,
Yes it’s a long way to go,
But in the meantime,

Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you,
While your busy making other plans.

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful boy,
Darling,
Darling,
Darling boy.

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