It’s Ingrained and Cannot Be Changed Regardless of Nagging

I’ve always heard people say that boys are different than girls. I heard, “Oh, he’s all boy!” and wondered what the hell that meant. How could boys be that drastically different from my daughter (she’s 18 now)? Once we had Shane, I realized that there are VERY obvious differences between the two sexes. There are things ingrained at birth and remain with the male species throughout their entire life. For example:

  • Must have remote controls (the more and the longer, the better).
  • He who dies with the most toys wins (BONUS for the most electronics).
  • If something is stuck, rip it out. Who cares if you tear up something else in that effort?
  • So what if there are leftover pieces of something you’re building? The manufacturers obviously put in extra pieces.
  • Why walk someplace when you can run (this traits seems to disappear around 13)?
  • Leave a trail of clothes from the door to the bedroom…always.
  • Smear toothpaste all over the counter. Don’t bother wiping it off. There’ll be more tomorrow.
  • Put empty boxes of food back in the pantry.
  • Doritos and marshmallows are a perfectly balanced meal.
  • Leave empty soda bottles on the counter, nightstands and tables (applies to juice boxes, too).
  • Leave cabinet doors and drawers open (and drown out the sounds of them being slammed shut the next morning).
  • Leave rocks, woodchips and crayons in your pockets to be washed (this applies to magic coins, as well)
  • Step over toys/clothes at the bottom of the stairs instead of carrying them up.
  • Hide crap in any nook and cranny you can find (*or just leave everything scattered-see evidence below which took about 15 minutes in boy time).
  • NEVER pee in the toilet. No one will even notice it on the floor or walls. Flushing is optional.
  • Be stubborn as hell. Never admit you’re wrong.

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But, with all of these ingrained behaviors comes other more pleasant ones and more sweetness than imaginable:

  • Making “pretty eyes” at all the ladies.
  • Flashing a smile that melts his mommy’s heart.
  • Being the cutest kid ever with one rubber boot on, one off, regardless of the outfit you’re wearing..
  • Realizing that those rubber boots are perfect for splashing in the rain and splashing all of the dog’s water out of the bowl.
  • Dragging around your blankie as if his life depends on it (morphs into a cell phone around 13).
  • Saying “BYE-BYE” with such a Southern drawl that it sounds like “BAH-BAH.”
  • Laughing at himself.
  • Curling up with your mommy for one last snuggle before being tucked in.
  • Telling your mommy that she sings the prettiest lullabies.
  • Melting your mommy’s heart.

What’s one of the greatest compliments to me? “He sure is a Mama’s boy!” That means we’re raising him right.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

shane blankie

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