I’ve always heard people say that boys are different than girls. I heard, “Oh, he’s all boy!” and wondered what the hell that meant. How could boys be that drastically different from my daughter (she’s 18 now)? Once we had Shane, I realized that there are VERY obvious differences between the two sexes. There are things ingrained at birth and remain with the male species throughout their entire life. For example:
- Must have remote controls (the more and the longer, the better).
- He who dies with the most toys wins (BONUS for the most electronics).
- If something is stuck, rip it out. Who cares if you tear up something else in that effort?
- So what if there are leftover pieces of something you’re building? The manufacturers obviously put in extra pieces.
- Why walk someplace when you can run (this traits seems to disappear around 13)?
- Leave a trail of clothes from the door to the bedroom…always.
- Smear toothpaste all over the counter. Don’t bother wiping it off. There’ll be more tomorrow.
- Put empty boxes of food back in the pantry.
- Doritos and marshmallows are a perfectly balanced meal.
- Leave empty soda bottles on the counter, nightstands and tables (applies to juice boxes, too).
- Leave cabinet doors and drawers open (and drown out the sounds of them being slammed shut the next morning).
- Leave rocks, woodchips and crayons in your pockets to be washed (this applies to magic coins, as well)
- Step over toys/clothes at the bottom of the stairs instead of carrying them up.
- Hide crap in any nook and cranny you can find (*or just leave everything scattered-see evidence below which took about 15 minutes in boy time).
- NEVER pee in the toilet. No one will even notice it on the floor or walls. Flushing is optional.
- Be stubborn as hell. Never admit you’re wrong.
But, with all of these ingrained behaviors comes other more pleasant ones and more sweetness than imaginable:
- Making “pretty eyes” at all the ladies.
- Flashing a smile that melts his mommy’s heart.
- Being the cutest kid ever with one rubber boot on, one off, regardless of the outfit you’re wearing..
- Realizing that those rubber boots are perfect for splashing in the rain and splashing all of the dog’s water out of the bowl.
- Dragging around your blankie as if his life depends on it (morphs into a cell phone around 13).
- Saying “BYE-BYE” with such a Southern drawl that it sounds like “BAH-BAH.”
- Laughing at himself.
- Curling up with your mommy for one last snuggle before being tucked in.
- Telling your mommy that she sings the prettiest lullabies.
- Melting your mommy’s heart.
What’s one of the greatest compliments to me? “He sure is a Mama’s boy!” That means we’re raising him right.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED 
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